What God taught me in Pennsylvania

Read Time: 5 minutes

by AJ Canterbury

“I can’t believe I used to live here.”

I repeated that exclamation every time I took in the picturesque landscapes revealed at every bend in the road. From the window, I gawked at the cascading fields encasing the country homes and farms with their towering silos and red and gold colored trees. I wondered how I had ever gotten used to this sight.

I spent my formative years in Pennsylvania Dutch country, from elementary to graduating high school. I have now lived in Texas longer than my residency in Pennsylvania, but it is still the place I consider home. Returning to those familiar streets and towns verified that the place still held hold of my heart.

My squad of brothers gathered together to celebrate the wedding of our youngest brother. This gift of a trip marked the first time we were all back in the place we had lived with our mom since we had moved away over 20 years ago.

We pulled into the parking lot of my childhood church, and I sat in front of its red doors and revisited the countless times I had passed through them. Such vivid memories flashed through my mind, but it seemed that life belonged to someone else. So much time had passed since those days and the person who lived those memories had changed.

Our group traveled to the backside of the church where I knew we’d find the quaint family cemetery. My mother had been buried there. An irrational anticipation struck me as I rounded the corner that my mother would be standing there, as if waiting all this time for her sons to arrive.

The nine of us circled her headstone. I mentally traced her engraved name as I studied it and then looked to the faces of those present. My brothers had been children when we had buried her and moved to Minnesota, and now they were men with families of their own.

Two of my brothers had wives they had met outside of Pennsylvania. Both of them were now inseparably joined to this family having never met its matriarch. With the addition of the two wives, there were also the three young faces of my niece and nephews completing our company. Without having met their grandmother, they stood unaware of the significance of the moment.

I reflected on the assembled family that stood here now, born from the torrential life-event that ripped everything from its trajectory. The decision to leave Pennsylvania haunts me still. Two decades later, I rehearse and regret the decisions made, and the reason (my mother’s death) that made the decisions necessary.

Over 20 years ago, I stood in this same spot, fearing my family as I knew it had ended. How could it continue when we just buried the one who held us all together? But God brought life from death.

I prayed as I sat in the shadow of her headstone, feeling a rise of praise:

“Thank you for your faithfulness to my family. You have sustained us, carried us through the pain, and brought about good.”

In the small country cemetery, my eyes saw God’s providence.

What I mean by God’s providence

It may be beneficial to define what I mean by God’s providence. The Bible makes it clear that God possesses sovereign control over his universe. “All things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together” (Col 1:16-17).

In his holding and moving all things in his creation, he does so with purpose and intent. His providence is the carrying out of his purposes that usher in our good and his glory.  It’s the flower that blooms from his sovereign care and management. Providence is his goodness coming out of every circumstance (even the worst).

The story of Joseph in Genesis is one of my favorites for it gives one of the clearest pictures of God’s providence. (Gen. 37-50) The evil betrayal of his brothers shipped him to Egypt, but Joseph identifies divine purpose working over the sin of his siblings.

After Joseph was reunited with his brothers during the great famine, he tells them: “And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God” (Gen 45:7-8).

God had ordained him to be in Egypt, to obtain favor with the Pharoah, and to save Israel. The jealous and wickedness of his brothers served as the instruments to carry out his purposes. He worked his goodness through the brothers, not in spite of them.

Joseph’s life was marked by the providential care of God, and our lives, as believers in Christ, rest in that same providential care. And rest is truly what God’s providence offers for it reveals the steadfast love he has for us. A truth I saw most clearly that afternoon in the Pennsylvania cemetery.

  “[Providence] is the flower that blooms from his sovereign care and management.”

The story of Joseph reveals aspects of God’s Providence I meditated on specifically:

1. Circumstances cannot stop his providence

Joseph was not awarded the keys to Egypt the moment he arrived in the country. The violent betrayal from his brothers was just the first of bitter circumstances he had to endure. He was auctioned off in front of the Egyptians, like a prize to be purchased. Joseph was falsely accused of sexual assault, thrown into prison, and forgotten in his cell.

And every hardship and struggle folded into God’s plan for him and for his people. The evil inflicted on Joseph did not create a roadblock that God had to detour Joseph around to get him back on the right path. He never got knocked off track to begin with.

The loss of my mother introduced consecutive sorrows: family drama, differing opinions on where me and my brothers should go, carving out a place in a new state, and the angry reaction to my decision that severed long-time relationships. The progression of my disability leapt forward which compounded my sorrow.

Yet God’s hand continued to sustain. His plans remained secure even when my world seemed on the brink of collapse. God provided strength to endure and glimpses of the goodness of his plan.

“In God’s providence, everything is significant. Everything is meaningful. Nothing is random, nothing is pointless, nothing is meaningless.”

John Piper

• Sin cannot stop his providence

Circumstances do not have the power to thwart God’s providence, and neither does sin, neither the sin of others or my own sin. In the story of Joseph, sin runs amuck. Joseph’s own pride may have initially stirred jealousy in the hearts of his brothers, but the sin of Potiphar, his wife, and the cupbearer also threatened to interfere with God’s plans.

The onslaught of sins did not sabotage what God had ordained. In fact, they didn’t seem to even slow him down. If anything, the time in prison and the silence and forgetfulness of the cupbearer fit perfectly into the orchestrated meeting with the Pharoah and the timetable of the coming famine. God maintains his sovereign rule even over our sins.

When I reflect on my decision to leave Pennsylvania, I recognize my own sins influencing my thinking. Certainly my youth and grief were real components to how I processed things, but my own pride and self-righteousness and fear contributed as well. Those factors fueled me to act in my own self-interest without considering those I left behind.

Thank God that my own sins did not cause God to throw up his hands in surrender and exclaim, “I cannot work with this one now.”  My sin did not surprise or prevent God from continuing to work in my life and the life of my family. My agreement to move to Minnesota resulted in gaining experiences and investing in others which were downright necessary for what God intended to do with my life.

The lives of my brothers were meant to intersect with my sister-in-laws; they were meant to be part of our family. And moving states made that possible. My niece and nephews were meant to be born at a certain time and that was determined long before I came along with my decisions.”

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

That’s the mystery of providence how all of my real decisions and sinful choices never block God’s plans, and how it seems the things I introduce work to ensure his plan comes about perfectly. Its something that I don’t suspect I’ll ever fully understand.

The more I consider it, though, the more infinite I find God to be. His sovereignty is incalculable and incomparable to any other earthly ruler. And this brings me comfort. For this sovereign king always brings about my greatest good and his glory.

My trip to Pennsylvania opened my eyes to the faithful care in which God has guarded both me and my family. It deepens my worship and gratitude.

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