Read Time: 5 minutes

by AJ Canterbury

I intended to write a follow-up post to my last article, “What Are The Reasons Disability Exist,” but life presented another lesson for me to focus on. I wanted to ignore it and press on with the post I had planned to write since the interruption seemed so minor. However, the moment would not leave my thoughts so it may be worthwhile to share it with you.

For the last leg of summer, I suffered some upper respiratory/allergy junk. Already it doesn’t sound like a topic that should merit a blog post, but the faithfulness of God taught me something eternal amidst something temporal. This minor illness put my theology into practice.

At first, this article did not seem to tie into what I had said about disability in my previous post. As I reflect on it, I think it further supports what I said. God holds many reasons for why he allows disability, and he also holds many reasons for our other sicknesses. He grants all things as a means of grace, working for my good and his glory.

I’ve found it easier to accept that God purposes the major events in life rather than the common, even mundane, aspects of human experience. God masterminds the big stuff: the marriages, families, sufferings, diagnoses, etc., but everybody catches the cold. What’s the higher purpose in that?

My hope for this article is that you will come to see that God works his purposes through all things. That the ordinary serve just as powerfully to accomplish his extraordinary means. God is always committed to conforming your heart.

The Cough That Would Not Leave

A violent, hacking cough presented as my primary symptom. For the first week, my throat remained hoarse and raw, and even after it cleared up the cough showed no sign of packing it’s bags. Clearly, it planned to stick around for a bit.

My Friedrich’s Ataxia has depleted my core strength so the relentless cough threw my body forward every time. I faceplanted, on more than one occasion, into whatever hard object was in front of me (countertops, plates of food, breathing machines, etc.). Hilarious to witness; painful and scary to experience.

It did not take long for the cough to wear me out. I was exhausted. Early into the illness, the doctor told me, “The cough can hang on for weeks” so I just needed to wait it out. She wanted me to cough so my body could get rid of the bacteria, but I knew what the cough cost. I appreciated her medical assessment, but coughing was the last thing I wanted to do.

I lead a midweek Bible study and teach a Sunday school class, and the illness interfered with my ability to do both. My damaged voice could not project, and I got a handful of words out before collapsing into a fit of coughing. During one Bible study, I made it 10 minutes into the lesson before needing to surrender it to another member to finish.

Patience skates thin when it comes to sickness for me. I imagine I should bounce back immediately and return to regular activity. I administered everything I could think of to speed up my recovery, but nothing worked to resolve the symptoms.

God works his purposes through all things. The ordinary serve just as powerfully to accomplish his extraordinary means.

The God Of The All Things

Toward the end of my illness, a coughing spell lasted through dinner and into the evening. I could not get my lungs to calm down. Flushed and exhausted, I prayed for mercy. It sounds so dramatic to type that out, but I think we’ve all been there, so sick we convince ourselves it could never be worse.

In my prayer, I reasoned, “God, I know you have your reasons for everything, but…”

My senses kicked in at that point, or more appropriately the Holy Spirit chimed in. I chastised myself that no “but” can follow that statement. He is either in control or he is not.

The entire Bible proclaims how God reigns over his creation. He has created all things and holds them together (Col 1:17); he set and established the cosmos (the tide, the rain, and even the birthing details of the animals) (Job 38-39); he controls when the sparrow falls from the sky (Matt. 10:29); what he has purposed will always remain (Prov. 19:21).

There is no detail, too big or small, that the Creator does not govern. If God truly has reasons (purposes) for everything, then no exception can exist; my theology will not allow that. I could not pick and choose what ranked high enough to merit God’s involvement.

The thought I intended to complete had been “but I can’t see any purpose for this.” A common, familiar response when I experience pain and sorrow. But my frustrated cry had just negated my prior confession about God; he couldn’t really be in control of everything unless I was able to see it.

Man, can I be arrogant. Truth be told, I often fail to discern the significance of a circumstance, but that doesn’t determine there isn’t one. God does not require my understanding before he can deliver a purpose.

Instead of lamenting my misery, my prayer changed. I still wanted mercy, but now I wanted mercy to see my situation through his eyes. I prayed, “God, would you show me what you are up to in this?”

“Could This Be Forever?”

It seemed a practical test of my theology. Since I believed God controlled all things, and since I believed God used every one of my circumstances to shape me, then there must be purpose for my prolonged cough. If I were to remain true to my theology, this had to be true.

If you are hoping I will reveal a glorious vision where God unrolled the blueprints of my life and explained every twist and turn, I’ll save you the suspense. It didn’t happen. There was no glimpse behind the curtain, no startling epiphany following my prayer.

However, the Holy Spirit did bring some things to mind, starting with information about my disease. The Friedrichs ataxia attacks nerve endings and impairs their function, including the nerve endings in your throat and vocal cords. Because of the progressive nature of the disease, a strong possibility exists that my voice and ability to communicate will be affected in the future. I can already see evidence of it through my voice, my projection, and my slurred speech.

The way I contribute to my church consists of teaching and sharing the word of God. I serve God through it, and I recognize he has placed me in a position of care and responsibility for his people. If he took the role away, who would I be then? How would a teacher continue to teach it he did not have the ability to speak?

During my illness, I thought “surely this won’t last forever.” But what if it did?

Several months before, a friend and I discussed that shared fear, that our voices would not always allow us to teach. We considered how God could still include us even if we couldn’t function in the role we always had. We concluded that we could invest in future teachers and equip them to lead.

God spoke to my heart even in a common sickness. He is always actively transforming our hearts.

I walked away from the conversation intent on acting on it, but I never really did. Everything remained stable so it was just easier to keep things as they were. I could tackle that unknown, and only possible, future when/if it showed up.

I wondered if this could be God’s purpose in my prolonged cough, a summons to faithfully invest in the training up of others. It certainly stirred the desire in me to actively carry out what I failed to do before. And I know that I don’t want to abandon the drive now that I’ve recovered.

By the grace of God, the progression of the disease may never steal my voice. I may be able to teach well into old age, but the initiative to disciple and raise up strong teachers is a task I’m called to fulfill regardless. Jesus commanded it, Paul embodied it, and I should emulate it.

God spoke to my heart even in a common sickness. He is always actively transforming our hearts.

Share with me in the comments, if God has ever worked something profound in you through a common circumstance.

I’ve written a devotional, “Faith From The Chair.” You can submit your email below to get a free e-copy sent to you.